At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????