the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.