No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes