have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent