in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
