he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
