Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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