I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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