Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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