had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
