Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
