The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
