You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
