So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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