I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize