Come see our sink grown plant.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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