He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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