Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize