And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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