Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
