Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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