I wanna bring you to show and tell
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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