Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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