? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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