I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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