I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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