i think my tv is drunk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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