u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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