wat bout pragnant strippers??
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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