Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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