The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
