Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
