i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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