the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just cropdusted the office
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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