she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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