reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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