Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
