It's Friday. Sex?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
