TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
