Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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