You're completely useless in the revolution.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
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I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
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Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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