Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize