we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
