whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize