If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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