I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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