im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
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sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
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All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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