Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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