...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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