And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
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I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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