We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
