you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
