I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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