Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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