Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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