oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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