She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
