I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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