Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
