He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
